The Demigod's Guide to Damage Control
by Pipsqueak Ninja
Summary: There aren't any guides to being pregnant with a half-god, nor are there any guides to caring for your roommate in that position. Basically, two demigods try to protect their roommate and the tiny half-blood she's carrying around for nine months in the midst of hungry monsters, exploding pacifiers, and, oh, that nasty uprising on Mt. Olympus, but that should be no big deal.


**Title: _The Demigod's Guide to Damage Control_  
**

 **Summary: There aren't any guides to being pregnant with a half-god, nor are there any guides to caring for your roommate in that position. Basically, two demigods try to protect their roommate and the tiny half-blood she's carrying around for nine months in the midst of hungry monsters, exploding pacifiers, and, oh, that nasty uprising on Mt. Olympus, but that should be no big deal.**

 **A/N: I don't even know, honestly. I was reading the Trials of Apollo, and for some reason, I wondered what the parents of demigods must go through or what they thought so this accidentally came about? I might not even finish it, but I had to get it out so yeah.  
**

 **Rated M for the subject the the use of foul language. There isn't anything descriptive here, just references.**

* * *

 **Prologue**

* * *

As a demigod (and a female), I was no stranger to blood. When things were constantly trying to kill you, from cramping due to a contracting uterus to vicious and ancient Greek monsters, blood was no big deal. Then again, being the child of a minor god, monsters showed up even less than my monthly curse, and they were often easily dispatched without incident. Blood was no big deal, and certainly nothing to worry about.

Crouching in the back of an old minivan named the Living Legend™ where my _mortal_ friend attempted to give birth to her demigod kid in the middle of Manhattan while my other _demigod_ friend attempted to find a new career midwifing with monsters and other ancient deities scattered throughout the city with the express purpose of killing us, blood was becoming increasingly more unnerving to me.

You're probably a tad confused, aren't you? Or maybe you're not, considering the fandom you found my life story in, but whatever. My bad, let me start from the beginning, before exploding pacifiers and the monster manhunt in Manhattan and nine months of pure chaos and terror.

Ladies and gents, my name is Ryann Yalung, daughter of Phobos, and this is the story of how I became the guardian and surrogate aunt of Hermes' unborn progeny.

* * *

It all began about nine months before you last found me covered in blood and about to attempt to deliver a baby.

I was in my third year of university, having just turned twenty, and was in the process of studying animation at NYU. I was living the dream with my two roommates in our off-campus apartment that was a hodgepodge of drawings and Broadway posters and scattered sketches of clothing, and everything was going my way. I went where I wanted and did what I pleased, and with my part-time job at the Starbucks on campus, I had the money to treat myself every now and then.

My roommates were little shits, though. Or one of them was, anyway.

The little shit actually had a name, and it was Antonia Acosta. Her nickname, Toni, was just as short as her temper and physical height. Almost two years my junior, I had met her upon her arrival at Camp Half-Blood when we were still pimply faced little rugrats. With dark brown hair and her sharp words, it was a surprise to the whole camp when she was claimed as Apollo's child. She looked nothing like her sandy-haired, smiling siblings, but her skill with a bow and love for the arts, most notably theater, were about as tell-tale as she got. We had become enemies almost immediately after the first Capture the Flag game of the summer, where we faced off on the battle field. Since then, our frenemy-ship had consisted of bickering back and forth, as well as threats of death and suffering upon the other. It was kind of ironic that we shared a living space together in university.

My other roommate, Elizabeth Johnson, was indeed just as stereotypically white as she sounded, and her blond hair and personality made her appear to Apollo's kid more than Toni would ever hope to be. She was extremely sweet, definitely the mom of our group, and we never let her live that down, especially after she became knocked up with a Greek god's kid. She carried around this giant purse that must have weighed at least ten pounds, but it held everything my other crazy roommate and I could ever need, like the first aid kit and bail money. Despite her mom-ness, Elizabeth was the biggest slob to ever exist, always leaving dirty dishes in the sink or her laundry in the wash, but it was hard to be irritated with her because she was so nice. She may not have been the prettiest girl to ever exist, but she had a smile and a bright personality to match that simply drew people to her like moths to a flame.

Elizabeth was also completely normal, with not a single drop of godly blood in her, or any ability to see through the Mist.

She and I had been roommates our first year of college, and despite the fact that we were polar opposites, we had struck up an odd friendship, and Elizabeth had slowly wormed her way into Toni's own stone-cold heart as well the more they interacted. As soon as Toni was able to get out of the dorms, the three of us started living together at the beginning of their second year, and things worked out nicely. But then . . .

Everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked.

Oh, whoops, wrong fandom. The change was actually not that dramatic, or deadly. Well, it wasn't deadly right away, anyway, but you'll see what I mean soon enough.

Honestly, it all began with a party.

* * *

For being New Years Eve, it wasn't all that cold. Then again, I was also in a house full of college kids dancing to loud music and producing enough heat to make the entire place feel like a sauna. The air tasted of salt, and every surface seemed slick with sweat. After one too many creepy people had attempted to coax me into really weird things, I had decided I'd had enough with the party and seated myself in a small arm chair in a corner where I was content to be alone and observe everyone around me.

I zeroed in on Toni where she stood across the room attempting to flirt with a guy from our school's soccer team. Her cheeks were red from embarrassment, but the soccer player whose name escaped me was smiling and blushing right back. I hadn't seen him drink that night (and trust me, since Toni had been talking about him for weeks and making eyes at him all night, I had made it my business to make sure he was worthy), so I assumed he was at least a tad interested in her as well.

Elizabeth had gone home for the holidays, and she would be flying into the state in just a couple of hours. Toni and I had promised to pick her up, so whatever move she was hoping to make on the soccer player had to be made soon.

I sipped at the water I had grabbed to balance out the alcohol, and tried not to make it obvious that I was watching them. Just by looking at the soccer player I could tell that he was scared, very, very slightly, of talking to Toni, and it was the same the other way around as well. They both had bigger fears that I knew with a mere glance, but when your father was the god of fear, you could pick up on things like that.

The boy stuttered something, and Toni shyly traded phones with him. They typed away their contact information, and then quickly handed their devices back. With awkward goodbyes and shy smiles exchanged, the boy turned back to his friends who were smirking and grinning and giving him a hard time off to the side, and Toni made a beeline toward my corner.

I grinned lewdly up at her from my seat, shorter than her now since she was still standing. "So you got his number, eh?"

Her cheeks were a flaming red, and despite the scowl she sent my way, her eyes were practically the shape of hearts as she perched on the arm of my chair. "You bet I did," she declared, sitting up straight and tall and proud. "I can memorize entire plays and songs and choreography, but I can't talk to that one imbecile from my math class."

"Imbecile?" I quirked a brow, unimpressed.

"Okay, he's actually really fucking smart, and it pisses me off but at the same time it doesn't?" Toni looked vaguely frustrated. "He's like the male version of Liz, but more athletic. And cute. And also smart."

"I got it," I snickered. "Forget how to speak now, eh? You didn't drink anything, did you?"

Toni snorted. "Of course not, I'm DD," she said, reaching into her jeans pocket and producing the keys to the Living Legend™. "Speaking of which, lets hit the road now to avoid all the traffic. It's gonna take us forever to get there as it is."

The Living Legend™ was Elizabeth's minivan that her family had signed over to her when she drove from Arizona to New York for school. She left it with us whenever she flew home for holidays, which she didn't do often, and it was pretty much our roommate vehicle. Legend was a ten year old minivan with more issues than miles on it, and it had survived hail storms with ice the size of golf balls with only a few dents, six accidents, and even a dip in a lake (don't ask, it's a bit of a long story). The Living Legend™ was a durable vehicle, just as Toni and I were durable half-humans, so we loved the car just as much as Elizabeth did from her many childhood memories and funny stories involving it.

I really hated driving, especially bigger cars, so whenever Legend was left in our hands, it was Toni that held the keys to wherever we went. She drove like a bat out of hell, racing around cars like she was in a race car rather than a soccer mom vehicle. Despite the traffic, we made it to the airport in no time, and we had ten minutes to sit around and wait before Elizabeth's plane landed.

We spotted Elizabeth almost immediately as the passengers exited their gate. She was the only human being that looked even remotely awake, and the smile she sent our way was cheery and full of excitement. She let go of her small suitcase, which toppled over because it was so heavy, and enveloped Toni and me into the biggest hug she could muster.

"Happy New Year!" she chirped happily as she pulled away. "Did you guys have a good Christmas?"

"Of course!" Toni responded cheerily. I didn't say anything, since our "good Christmas" had consisted of sleeping until noon and then watching _Shrek the Musical_ on Netflix for the millionth time in our lives and lounging in our pajamas all day.

Elizabeth was still smiling bright enough to light up a room. "I'm glad! Mine was pretty great, too, and-" Her cheeks turned a faint pink, her blush nowhere as bad as Toni's. "I met a guy,"

" _Oooooh_ ," Toni drawled, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. "Spill the details."

Elizabeth laughed. "I will, but I'll save the story for our long drive home."

* * *

Elizabeth's story started out normal. As Toni drove because Elizabeth claimed to be too tired to drive, she talked about her mom and dad, and about her older brothers and sister being home as well, and of her cramped hands from making too many batches of cookies. She was always so excited about everything, but what Toni and I really wanted to hear about was the guy she had met.

"He was so cute," Elizabeth eventually gushed. "Green eyes, mousy hair, really dorky grin. He was playing pranks every time I glanced his way, but he was super nice. I met him at my cousin's party, and we met up to get breakfast the next morning. It's actually kind of funny; no one else even noticed he was at the party, and when I mentioned his name, no one seemed to know him, either."

This immediately set off alarm bells in my head, and by the way Toni shot me a look through the dark of the Legend, I could tell she was thinking the same thing as well.

"Go on," I prompted from my seat in the back.

"What was his name?" Toni asked with buckets of enthusiasm and curiosity.

"He had the coolest name," Elizabeth sighed dreamily. "Hermes, like the Greek god."

Toni slammed on the breaks so hard that the guy behind us almost hit the rear of the Legend. He swerved at the last second, his horn blaring as he went around us. He stuck his hand out the window to flick her off, but Toni was too busy pulling onto the shoulder. She flicked on the hazard lights, and then turned fully in her seat to stare at Elizabeth.

"Say that again for me, just so I know I heard you right," she demanded.

Elizabeth looked completely startled. "You almost killed us so that I could repeat myself?" she squawked. "What the heck, Toni?"

"Say it again," Toni repeated more firmly. "Or I won't drive."

Elizabeth looked back and forth between us oddly. "I said his name was Hermes," she said hesitantly. "Did you have a little too much to drink at the party you were at before this?"

"Not a drop," Toni deadpanned. "You didn't do-the-do with him, did you?"

"Is it any business of yours if I did or not?" Elizabeth asked, much more calm now. "It's not a crime to sleep with someone, now is it?"

I stared hard at Toni, and hissed quietly in my limited knowledge of Greek for her to shut up. She was already being suspiciously pushy, and we didn't need Elizabeth asking any questions back at us, especially if everything was just a coincidence. However, if Elizabeth really had gotten to know the actual messenger god more intimately, then there was a very high possibility of, well, _children_. Greek gods seemed to be abnormally fertile with all the kids they ended up having.

"Not at all," Toni said, trying to recover after my warning. "Sorry. I just worry, y'know?" She turned back around, flicked off the hazard lights, and then swerved back into traffic.

Elizabeth was still looking at us like she wanted to demand a sobriety test. "Thanks," she said warily. "That means a lot."

We didn't say another word to each other for the rest of the drive back. Once we made it back to our apartment and Elizabeth had retired to her room for the night, Toni instantly barged into my room with a drachma in hand.

"We need to talk to Hermes right now," she said. "If he really did end up with Elizabeth, then she-"

"I know," I said calmly. I held up a spray bottle of water and gestured to the light and the glass I had already set up at an angle that Google said would create a rainbow despite the lack of sun. "I was thinking the same thing."

After creating our synthetic rainbow, Toni flicked the coin into the mist, only to have it spat back out again a moment later with a monotone, robotic voice reciting that our message couldn't be completed at the moment. Toni cursed quietly under her breath.

"I guess we'll really find out in a few weeks," I murmured. When you had three women in the same living quarters, their menstrual cycles often synced, and ours definitely had. If Elizabeth didn't receive the monthly curse at roughly the same time as me and Toni, then we would know we were in trouble.

"I want to find out _now_ ," Toni all but grumbled. "If she really is going to have a demigod kid, then we need to protect her. We already get enough monstrous attention with the two of us in the same living space, but _three_ demigods will be a heck of a lot more noticeable. Do we really want to subject another Top Twelve kid to that?"

I shrugged, feeling much more calm that I probably should. "We won't really have a choice, will we? Elizabeth is our friend, and she's not going to have any idea what to do as much as we do."

Toni sighed. "So we wait," she said gravely.

I nodded. "So we wait," I agreed.

* * *

 **A/N: That's all for now, folks! Thanks for reading, and offer some advice if you'd be so inclined. This was written at two in the morning so I'm sorry if something doesn't seem right. Feel free to let me know, and I'll be sure to fix it!**

 **Until next time,**

 **-Pip**


End file.
